It is a good time for change. And not just because it’s sort of spring (well it is in some places, not so much in Scotland just yet). The days are getting longer, the darkness of early evening isn’t so dismal and depressing; the sun is actually up before me even when I have to be up early for work now. These seem like small things, but they make a difference.

And it is time for change. There has been some emotional upheaval lately that wasn’t entirely of my own making and while I could write for days on that, I’ll going to gloss over it right now. In a nutshell, the past year and a half have really been the worst of my life. I’ve been depressed, I’ve been miserable, and though I was doing my best, I don’t really like who I’ve been for a while.

This upheaval and change thrust upon me (and heartbreak, I’ll admit) is actually giving me a great opportunity to make some long overdue changes. And it doesn’t hurt that I feel like I’m back in touch now with parts of myself that I haven’t had for a while. I didn’t know where they’d gone or how I’d lost them, but they seem to be back and to be honest, it’s pretty cool to feel this okay about everything, despite the fact that I’m still dealing with the fallout from the recent stuff.

The analogy I keep using is that of a bouncy ball, and how as a kid I never really believed the ball would bounce until it did. I’ve felt for the past year like I was trying to claw my way out of a pit, fighting for every inch. When I was knocked back down, I sort of thought I would just go splat on the bottom and then have to pick up all the pieces and start clawing my way back up again when I found the strength for it again. And I didn’t know how soon that would be. But what happened was something else entirely; I didn’t splat and fall to pieces again: I bounced.

I bounced. It feels silly and simple, but it’s how I feel. I didn’t know I could bounce, much less that I would, but I did. And it’s pretty fantastic. All is not roses, but I am okay and I am going to be okay. Better than okay.

So, I’m making some changes. I joined a gym (and so far I’m going!). I’m writing more. I’m reading more. I’m getting back in touch with people and talking to them more than I have been. I’m reconnecting with the world.

And it’s good. Really good. I’m glad to be back.